it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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