As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
