tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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