you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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