fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize