at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Is it penis luge time yet?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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