what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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