gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just googled if crying burns calories
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
