Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
