I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
