I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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