shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize