im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
