Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
