While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
