Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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