let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
