absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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