Dual....:-)
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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