Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
