Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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