dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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