i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
