Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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