that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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