U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize