I feel like abortions should bother me more
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize