When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
