I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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