so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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