She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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