I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
When are your genitals available?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
