So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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