Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
