therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Randomize
