i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
