If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
