Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
