The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
