I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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