His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
