two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
