I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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