His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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