Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
