Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
