Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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