11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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