no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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