you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The best revenge is premature balding
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
