Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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