Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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