i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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