dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
