that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
oh god was she eating orange peels again
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
