You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
