I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
