I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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